Grumpy

Last night was not a good night.  My little man went to bed with no problem at 7:30pm.  He slept for two and a half hours without any hitches.  Then at 10pm as I was getting ready to go to bed, he cried out.  I went in and sat with him for a couple of minutes and turned on his ladybug nightlight.  No worries.

But then at 12:30am it happened again.  And again at 1:40....and at 2:30.  Now I'd like to say that I calmly helped him back to sleep each time and went back to sleep without any problems.  However, I would be lying.

Each time, I could feel the anger building inside a little more.  The frustration, the irritation, the anger at having my own sleep interrupted yet again.  After returning to my bed, I was stewing.  What was the problem?  Why did he keep waking up?  What was wrong?  I didn't have the answers and because I kept thinking about it, I wasn't sleeping either.

So it was a night with little sleep.  Which led to a grumpy morning.  Not just for him, but for me too. 

Have you ever had one of those mornings where every little thing sets you off?  You just don't seem to be able to make a smile on your face and it is all you can do not to yell at someone?

That was my morning.

Until I was walking with a friend.  My little man and one of her little men went running ahead.  Running ahead out of our view.  When we came around the corner, we could see her little man but not mine.    We were walking along the river...where was he?  All you mothers out there probably know the feeling of panic that started rising in my heart.  Her little man couldn't seem to tell us where mine had gone. 

I went ahead on the trail... and there he was.  Just looking at the ducks ahead.  But oh what a reminder.  How precious he is to me.  What a gift from God.

And then I realized what had gone wrong with my morning - I had not been practicing my thankfulness.  I had not been focusing my attention on all the blessings and good things God has given me and continues to give me.  I had just been focusing on everything that was going wrong.  I was practicing selfishness instead of selflessness. 

I pray that I will continue to remember to practice my thankfulness, even when I am challenged by a non-sleeping son.

In His Grace...