I moved toward God at a faster pace than my husband. I was seeking and was at the point that I was desperate for His love. The pit can do that for you.
Thus I found myself on Easter Sunday 2004, driving my husband to the airport for a three week business trip on the east coast. Then I found myself driving an hour to attend the Easter service with our friends at their church.
It was a small church and we were sitting toward the back of the sanctuary - which was only about twelve rows from the front. I enjoyed the worship music, although it turned on my faucets (otherwise known as crying).
The sermon (which continued the faucet onslaught) was a typical one for Easter Sunday. It was about the amazing sacrifice God made for us because of His love for us and His desire for a personal relationship with each of us.
And then came the alter call. My friend whispered to me "if you want to go forward, I'll go with you." I do remember that I nodded (which was all I could manage with the tears streaming down my face).
The pastor spoke to me, and his wife spoke to me, and I gave my life to Christ. And I felt the first inkling of His peace, of His love.
God had planned that day for me. There was a reason my husband wasn't there - simply put, I wouldn't have gone forward with him there (though I love him to pieces). I would have been too embarrassed. I have always let others' thoughts lead my actions. But God knows that.
And He knew I needed to be there, at that time, with those people.
He would bring my husband along later with His perfect timing.
In His Grace...
I will be taking a break for the fourth of July holiday in order to spend time with my family. I will return the week after. Have a blessed holiday, enjoying the blessings God has given you and thanking Him for every one of them.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Friendship
During the time I spent working with my parents, my husband and I met an amazing couple. They had a business not far from my parents. And they had their own God stories. God brought them to us or us to them, of this I am sure.
The day I was diagnosed with clinical depression, we left work and stopped by their home. We were helping them get their business started and needed to go over a few things with them. I was devastated by my diagnosis and the idea that my doctor wanted me to start taking anti-depressants. Somehow, this came out while we were at their home.
At that time, they were not friends of ours. They were business acquaintances. But she asked me to go in a different room with her. And we sat down and talked. And she took the time to listen - to listen to my story, to listen to my pain. And then she asked if she could pray for me and with me. No one had ever asked me that and truthfully, I was too embarrassed to say no.
So she prayed with me that afternoon.
And our business acquaintance developed into a friendship. They would invite us to dinner and we often ended up staying the night at their house because we lived about an hour's drive from them. They told us their amazing God story. And then they helped us start ours.
We got more comfortable with the praying, with asking God for His help and thanking Him for His love. We started attending a church near our home.
We started the journey home, into our Father's arms, into building personal relationships with Him.
In His Grace....
The day I was diagnosed with clinical depression, we left work and stopped by their home. We were helping them get their business started and needed to go over a few things with them. I was devastated by my diagnosis and the idea that my doctor wanted me to start taking anti-depressants. Somehow, this came out while we were at their home.
At that time, they were not friends of ours. They were business acquaintances. But she asked me to go in a different room with her. And we sat down and talked. And she took the time to listen - to listen to my story, to listen to my pain. And then she asked if she could pray for me and with me. No one had ever asked me that and truthfully, I was too embarrassed to say no.
So she prayed with me that afternoon.
And our business acquaintance developed into a friendship. They would invite us to dinner and we often ended up staying the night at their house because we lived about an hour's drive from them. They told us their amazing God story. And then they helped us start ours.
We got more comfortable with the praying, with asking God for His help and thanking Him for His love. We started attending a church near our home.
We started the journey home, into our Father's arms, into building personal relationships with Him.
In His Grace....
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Fleeing
I'm not sure where to start my faith story. I spent many years without faith. My family attended a Presbyterian church when I was growing up but somewhere around my twelfth year, we stopped attending. We only said prayers on major holidays when we had a family dinner with our extended family. I was not taught about our loving Father and His desire to have a relationship with me.
I went to work with my parents when I was 28 years old and the long and the short of it was, I couldn't work for my parents. In the six and a half years I worked there, I spiraled down into a pit. I don't know what caused it, I don't know why it happened but I was experiencing pain that I didn't understand. Not just physical pain, but mental and emotional pain - although this sometimes came out as physical pain as well.
When my husband and I (we worked for my parents together) would get home from work, the first thing I wanted to do was turn on the television. At that time we got the major networks - ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox and a couple of others. Often there were only re-runs playing. It certainly wasn't that the stories were enthralling or it was great television. I was fleeing the voices in my head. As Ann Voskamp says in One Thousand Gifts "For all our frenzied running seemingly toward something, could it be that we are in fact fleeing - desperate to escape pain that pursues?"
When I read this it struck home. That is exactly what I was doing - running from the pain, the anger, the stress, the difficult decisions. Television was one of the few things that could stop my mind from working. It could still the self-doubt, the self-recriminations, the negative self-talk. It wasn't that there was a specific show that would fulfill, it was just a way to quiet the mind. While watching others' imaginary lives, I could focus less on my own reality.
At the time I was unaware of what I was doing (although it drove my husband nuts - thanks for sticking with me sweetie)! I was unaware of my deep dissatisfaction with myself and my life. I was unaware that I was trying to fill an emptiness that only God could fill.
This realization only came after - after I had allowed myself to fall into the pit of depression. And after God had lifted me out of it with His wondrous love.
I pray that we will stop "fleeing...the pain that pursues" and turn to God, allowing Him to heal the pain with His unending love.
In His Grace...
I went to work with my parents when I was 28 years old and the long and the short of it was, I couldn't work for my parents. In the six and a half years I worked there, I spiraled down into a pit. I don't know what caused it, I don't know why it happened but I was experiencing pain that I didn't understand. Not just physical pain, but mental and emotional pain - although this sometimes came out as physical pain as well.
When my husband and I (we worked for my parents together) would get home from work, the first thing I wanted to do was turn on the television. At that time we got the major networks - ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox and a couple of others. Often there were only re-runs playing. It certainly wasn't that the stories were enthralling or it was great television. I was fleeing the voices in my head. As Ann Voskamp says in One Thousand Gifts "For all our frenzied running seemingly toward something, could it be that we are in fact fleeing - desperate to escape pain that pursues?"
When I read this it struck home. That is exactly what I was doing - running from the pain, the anger, the stress, the difficult decisions. Television was one of the few things that could stop my mind from working. It could still the self-doubt, the self-recriminations, the negative self-talk. It wasn't that there was a specific show that would fulfill, it was just a way to quiet the mind. While watching others' imaginary lives, I could focus less on my own reality.
At the time I was unaware of what I was doing (although it drove my husband nuts - thanks for sticking with me sweetie)! I was unaware of my deep dissatisfaction with myself and my life. I was unaware that I was trying to fill an emptiness that only God could fill.
This realization only came after - after I had allowed myself to fall into the pit of depression. And after God had lifted me out of it with His wondrous love.
I pray that we will stop "fleeing...the pain that pursues" and turn to God, allowing Him to heal the pain with His unending love.
In His Grace...
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Blessings
To spend a day with my son:
Playing in the back yard.
Going to the library.
Swimming at the community pool.
Eating lunch in the backyard.
Listening to him play in the living room while I prepare dinner.
Reading books.
Laughing at the funny parts together.
Playing the ladybug game.
Building with lincoln logs.
That was today...
So often I focus on the days that I do not get to spend with my son. Those days that I must go to work. I focus on the disagreeable instead of the blessings. My parents were always fond of the saying "practice makes perfect" and I am afraid that they were often correct. I must practice counting my blessings and opening my heart and eyes to see them as what they are - gifts from God.
I pray you will begin counting your blessings with me.
In His Grace...
Playing in the back yard.
Going to the library.
Swimming at the community pool.
Eating lunch in the backyard.
Listening to him play in the living room while I prepare dinner.
Reading books.
Laughing at the funny parts together.
Playing the ladybug game.
Building with lincoln logs.
That was today...
So often I focus on the days that I do not get to spend with my son. Those days that I must go to work. I focus on the disagreeable instead of the blessings. My parents were always fond of the saying "practice makes perfect" and I am afraid that they were often correct. I must practice counting my blessings and opening my heart and eyes to see them as what they are - gifts from God.
I pray you will begin counting your blessings with me.
In His Grace...
Monday, June 25, 2012
God's Gifts
"...life change comes when we receive life with thanks and ask for nothing to change." Ann Voskamp
I am reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp for the second time. Oh how this book speaks to me. The path Ann has traveled and the discoveries she makes ring so true in my life.
I read the above sentence over and over the other night with the realization that so often I am asking God to change things in my life. And by doing this simple thing, I am declaring my dissatisfaction with what He has given me. With all the good gifts He has given. I realized (again) that I must give thanks in all things, not constantly asking that those things be changed.
I do also know that Scripture says to ask and it will be given to you, to knock and He will open the door. But as God knows all my thoughts before I even think them, then He also must know all my desires before I voice them to Him. With this thought in mind, I pray that I can focus my prayer life on giving thanks first and foremost, for everything He has given me, for all the wondrous things He places in my daily life.
We are so blessed.
In His Grace...
I am reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp for the second time. Oh how this book speaks to me. The path Ann has traveled and the discoveries she makes ring so true in my life.
I read the above sentence over and over the other night with the realization that so often I am asking God to change things in my life. And by doing this simple thing, I am declaring my dissatisfaction with what He has given me. With all the good gifts He has given. I realized (again) that I must give thanks in all things, not constantly asking that those things be changed.
I do also know that Scripture says to ask and it will be given to you, to knock and He will open the door. But as God knows all my thoughts before I even think them, then He also must know all my desires before I voice them to Him. With this thought in mind, I pray that I can focus my prayer life on giving thanks first and foremost, for everything He has given me, for all the wondrous things He places in my daily life.
We are so blessed.
In His Grace...
Friday, June 22, 2012
Stress
As I was driving to work yesterday, I heard a statistic on the radio. The DJ said that she read a report that said that our stress level has increased by 30% in the past 30 years. She went on talking about the stress of jobs, activities and such. Just as she was talking about this I rounded a corner. Crossing the street in front of me was a couple. They were out for their morning walk together. This seems good, right? Except they weren't talking with each other, they were both on their cell phones...not looking at each other, not connecting with each other. Would our stress levels have anything to do with the fact that, as a society, we are becoming more and more distant?
As our advances in technology continue, we are becoming less and less friendly (in spite of the hundreds of facebook friends we might have). We are connecting with others face to face much less frequently than we used to. We send emails and texts but rarely does anyone stop by for a visit.
In looking at scripture, God wants us to have true, meaningful friendships with one another. We are to lean on one another and find strength in our relationships "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:12
There is strength, power and peace in sharing life with other believers, in building relationships that last and that share a common bond in faith. But I find these are becoming more difficult to build as we allow the technology of life to lead us into a more isolated, yet busier, society. We are putting emphasis on the things of this world more and more, and looking to heaven less and less.
I pray we can change that.
In His Grace....
As our advances in technology continue, we are becoming less and less friendly (in spite of the hundreds of facebook friends we might have). We are connecting with others face to face much less frequently than we used to. We send emails and texts but rarely does anyone stop by for a visit.
In looking at scripture, God wants us to have true, meaningful friendships with one another. We are to lean on one another and find strength in our relationships "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:12
There is strength, power and peace in sharing life with other believers, in building relationships that last and that share a common bond in faith. But I find these are becoming more difficult to build as we allow the technology of life to lead us into a more isolated, yet busier, society. We are putting emphasis on the things of this world more and more, and looking to heaven less and less.
I pray we can change that.
In His Grace....
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Women's Advance
Many years ago, I was at my first women's retreat. The woman that led me to Christ had invited me and I went. I had given my life to the Lord not quite a year before and the Holy Spirit was working in me every chance He got - listening to Christian music, listening to a sermon, listening to the Proverbs 31 Ministries radio blurbs. Many of these things would leave me weeping and I had no idea why.
They actually called this women's retreat an advance which was quite clever really. Retreat generally means to fall back and give up the battle. These women, some of the most amazing women I have ever met, wanted to portray quite the opposite. They wanted to advance in the knowledge of the Kingdom of Heaven. I however, just wanted to remain invisible. But no such luck.
I was the one sitting at a table at pretty much every session, crying my eyes out. By the second day, my eyelids were so puffy, there was no reason to put makeup on. Not a pretty sight.
To be quite honest, I don't remember most of the weekend. It was a blur of tears and kleenex and heart to hearts with my friend. But I do remember the final session before being released to head back to our daily lives.
The daughter of one of the leaders, a young woman in her early to mid-twenties, stood up. She said she had gotten a message for someone she didn't know - then she picked me out at one of the rear tables wearing a striped shirt.
I had never seen her before that weekend, I had not been introduced to her. The message was Psalm 34:
"I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips....I sought the Lord and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant, their faces are never covered with shame....Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him....The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit....The Lord redeems his servants; no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him."
These are just some of my favorite parts of this Psalm - parts that I clung too as the Holy Spirit kept working in me to release me from the darkness and fear that I lived with daily.
This Psalm will always have special meaning to me. It was a message given directly to me from the Lord through an amazing young woman.
In His Grace...
They actually called this women's retreat an advance which was quite clever really. Retreat generally means to fall back and give up the battle. These women, some of the most amazing women I have ever met, wanted to portray quite the opposite. They wanted to advance in the knowledge of the Kingdom of Heaven. I however, just wanted to remain invisible. But no such luck.
I was the one sitting at a table at pretty much every session, crying my eyes out. By the second day, my eyelids were so puffy, there was no reason to put makeup on. Not a pretty sight.
To be quite honest, I don't remember most of the weekend. It was a blur of tears and kleenex and heart to hearts with my friend. But I do remember the final session before being released to head back to our daily lives.
The daughter of one of the leaders, a young woman in her early to mid-twenties, stood up. She said she had gotten a message for someone she didn't know - then she picked me out at one of the rear tables wearing a striped shirt.
I had never seen her before that weekend, I had not been introduced to her. The message was Psalm 34:
"I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips....I sought the Lord and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant, their faces are never covered with shame....Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him....The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit....The Lord redeems his servants; no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him."
These are just some of my favorite parts of this Psalm - parts that I clung too as the Holy Spirit kept working in me to release me from the darkness and fear that I lived with daily.
This Psalm will always have special meaning to me. It was a message given directly to me from the Lord through an amazing young woman.
In His Grace...
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
A Prophet of Old
To be given the ability to see into the future. To know what will happen in the coming years. We often think that would be a great thing. Knowing what lies ahead for our country, our people, our world.
I have reached Isaiah in my cover to cover, almost daily reading of the bible. As I read through his prophetic words, I understand some of the prophesies that Isaiah is making. I can see the parallels between what he is foretelling and things that have now come to pass.
But in my human mind, I think "wow, it wasn't really a blessing to be a prophet in those times." My worldly mind is measuring in life and death. Many prophets were put to death for the words they prophesied. And with this thought, I realize that I am still living for the world. Not living for heaven.
Too often, I am timid when given the opportunity to share my testimony with an unbeliever. Too often, when friends come over, we do not insist on praying before our meals. Too often, we slip down that slippery slope that takes us to the worldly pleasures of this life.
I want to be sold out for Jesus. I want to share the love that I know He has given me which has saved me from darkness, anxiety, fear, depression and selfishness.
I pray for boldness in my daily life, for the words to share and for a lack of concern of what others think. Because I know the only opinion that matters is God's.
In His Grace...
I have reached Isaiah in my cover to cover, almost daily reading of the bible. As I read through his prophetic words, I understand some of the prophesies that Isaiah is making. I can see the parallels between what he is foretelling and things that have now come to pass.
But in my human mind, I think "wow, it wasn't really a blessing to be a prophet in those times." My worldly mind is measuring in life and death. Many prophets were put to death for the words they prophesied. And with this thought, I realize that I am still living for the world. Not living for heaven.
Too often, I am timid when given the opportunity to share my testimony with an unbeliever. Too often, when friends come over, we do not insist on praying before our meals. Too often, we slip down that slippery slope that takes us to the worldly pleasures of this life.
I want to be sold out for Jesus. I want to share the love that I know He has given me which has saved me from darkness, anxiety, fear, depression and selfishness.
I pray for boldness in my daily life, for the words to share and for a lack of concern of what others think. Because I know the only opinion that matters is God's.
In His Grace...
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Through New Eyes
Simplify...
Have you ever sat down for a meal with a 3 year old? You hold hands and begin the blessing before eating and then ask him if he would like to thank God for anything. He starts thanking God for his milk, for his rice, for his chicken, for his friends across the street....for the simple things. He doesn't use flowery language to thank God. He doesn't try to impress God with what is giving thanks for. He is just thanking God for the everyday blessings.
And God loves it! "...Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these" Matthew 19:14.
I pray that we can come to God with the child that remains in all of us, giving thanks for all the little blessings He gives us every day. Thanking Him as our Father. And through that process of giving thanks, we will be receiving all the blessings with which He has honored us.
In His Grace...
Have you ever sat down for a meal with a 3 year old? You hold hands and begin the blessing before eating and then ask him if he would like to thank God for anything. He starts thanking God for his milk, for his rice, for his chicken, for his friends across the street....for the simple things. He doesn't use flowery language to thank God. He doesn't try to impress God with what is giving thanks for. He is just thanking God for the everyday blessings.
And God loves it! "...Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these" Matthew 19:14.
I pray that we can come to God with the child that remains in all of us, giving thanks for all the little blessings He gives us every day. Thanking Him as our Father. And through that process of giving thanks, we will be receiving all the blessings with which He has honored us.
In His Grace...
Monday, June 18, 2012
What to do?
We had been to the Vallejo farmers market on a Saturday morning. We purchased strawberries, cherries, nectarines, plums, apricots, Chinese long beans, green beans, eggplant, crookneck squash and bok choy. All for a fraction of what we would pay at the Napa Farmers market. We are not fond of driving through American Canyon simply because of the number of traffic lights along Highway 29. Thus we went by way of Jameson Canyon Road to Highway 80 and into Vallejo.
We came back via the same route, exiting the Highway at Red Top Road. As we zipped off the Freeway, we saw something that will stay with me for quite some time. There was a small, red SUV stopped on the right hand shoulder. A young boy, maybe 10 years old, was standing outside of the passenger side and a woman was briskly walking toward him from the driver's side. As we approached, the woman came upon the boy and slapped him fiercely across the left cheek. She turned to walk away, taking two steps, then turned about and returned toward him. She grabbed his shirt on either side of his chest and gave two or three rough shakes. Then she turned back around, walking behind the vehicle before opening the driver's door and climbing inside. The boy opened the passenger door and climbed inside but not before I glimpsed his crying, fearful face.
What to do? Should we stop?
She had a Christian fish symbol on her vehicle. Should we stop and offer to pray with her? Or is she just a Christian like a good proportion of the population are, by name only; not the praying, truly believing sort?
We did not stop - I do not know if this was the right decision or the wrong one.
Prayer is my refuge and my comfort. In the absence of action, I resorted to prayer. And maybe that is all we are called to do in such a situation. But my heart aches for this woman - the anger and rage we could openly see. And my heart aches for the boy - the fear that he must feel when he is with her.
I pray that it was just a one time thing. I pray that it is not an abusive situation. I pray that God will heal and bring peace to them both. I pray the prayer that never fails (as Father Tim says in the Mitford series by Jan Karon), "Lord, thy will be done."
In His Grace...
We came back via the same route, exiting the Highway at Red Top Road. As we zipped off the Freeway, we saw something that will stay with me for quite some time. There was a small, red SUV stopped on the right hand shoulder. A young boy, maybe 10 years old, was standing outside of the passenger side and a woman was briskly walking toward him from the driver's side. As we approached, the woman came upon the boy and slapped him fiercely across the left cheek. She turned to walk away, taking two steps, then turned about and returned toward him. She grabbed his shirt on either side of his chest and gave two or three rough shakes. Then she turned back around, walking behind the vehicle before opening the driver's door and climbing inside. The boy opened the passenger door and climbed inside but not before I glimpsed his crying, fearful face.
What to do? Should we stop?
She had a Christian fish symbol on her vehicle. Should we stop and offer to pray with her? Or is she just a Christian like a good proportion of the population are, by name only; not the praying, truly believing sort?
We did not stop - I do not know if this was the right decision or the wrong one.
Prayer is my refuge and my comfort. In the absence of action, I resorted to prayer. And maybe that is all we are called to do in such a situation. But my heart aches for this woman - the anger and rage we could openly see. And my heart aches for the boy - the fear that he must feel when he is with her.
I pray that it was just a one time thing. I pray that it is not an abusive situation. I pray that God will heal and bring peace to them both. I pray the prayer that never fails (as Father Tim says in the Mitford series by Jan Karon), "Lord, thy will be done."
In His Grace...
Friday, June 15, 2012
A long day
It's been a long day today. My husband left for work at 6:00am (this is his usual time) but he didn't return until almost 8pm (this is unusual, except during harvest when it is expected). Our son was looking for his daddy at the usual time but instead daddy called to say he'd be late.
To this our son responded quite well for being 3 (almost 4). He was a bit put out, but he rallied and was "helping" me in the kitchen. I, however, let myself get a bit out of joint at the fact that my husband would not be home to grill dinner (I am the preparer, he grills) which means I would either have to change plans or do the grilling myself.
Admittedly, I am getting better at grilling. It is either grill the dinner or heat up the house, which in the summer I do not want to do. So I chose to grill the dinner. But all the time that I am slicing the zucchini, preparing the artichoke, seasoning the lamb, washing the lettuce, making a salad, I have a 3 (almost 4) year old chattering at me. Which should be wonderful, right?
But since I was struggling with the "why isn't my husband home to help" funk, the chattering was getting on my nerves. So then I snapped at my adorable little man who is just keeping me company and telling me everything he sees and observes.
Have you ever been there? What mom hasn't, right?
So I must work to remember God's grace.
We sat down for dinner and I said our prayer (which included a request for help with my attitude). I know God has blessed us with so much. I know there are many families that don't get to spend as much time together as we do. I know that I should be thankful as this verse from Thessalonians tells us:
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for us in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16
This is my prayer this evening, that in spite of circumstances, we can be joyful and give thanks.
In His Grace...
To this our son responded quite well for being 3 (almost 4). He was a bit put out, but he rallied and was "helping" me in the kitchen. I, however, let myself get a bit out of joint at the fact that my husband would not be home to grill dinner (I am the preparer, he grills) which means I would either have to change plans or do the grilling myself.
Admittedly, I am getting better at grilling. It is either grill the dinner or heat up the house, which in the summer I do not want to do. So I chose to grill the dinner. But all the time that I am slicing the zucchini, preparing the artichoke, seasoning the lamb, washing the lettuce, making a salad, I have a 3 (almost 4) year old chattering at me. Which should be wonderful, right?
But since I was struggling with the "why isn't my husband home to help" funk, the chattering was getting on my nerves. So then I snapped at my adorable little man who is just keeping me company and telling me everything he sees and observes.
Have you ever been there? What mom hasn't, right?
So I must work to remember God's grace.
We sat down for dinner and I said our prayer (which included a request for help with my attitude). I know God has blessed us with so much. I know there are many families that don't get to spend as much time together as we do. I know that I should be thankful as this verse from Thessalonians tells us:
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for us in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16
This is my prayer this evening, that in spite of circumstances, we can be joyful and give thanks.
In His Grace...
Thursday, June 14, 2012
New Life
I was visiting a friend today who has been given the gift of a third son. I was holding him and gazing at his little hand with the perfect, tiny fingers and the even tinier finger nails, the little thumb and tiny palm, not larger than a quarter.
New life is such a marvelous thing. The way life is formed within us, and then the amazing way it develops as it grows from a newborn, to an infant, to a baby, to a toddler, to a little boy or girl. Holding this tiny baby today reminded me of all the times I have held my little boy and been awed by him, the gift of him.
It reminded me once again to be thankful for such blessings as these. It also reminded me of the importance of our roles in our children's lives. To pass along the legacy of Christ's love to our children "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up...Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:5-9
We have been given such an important job and He has given us the tools with which to do it if we would only lean on Him and look to Him in our daily lives.
My prayer today for myself and for you is that we will make the time to look for the answers to our parenting questions by reading scripture rather than looking to parenting books and magazines. For "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness..." 2 Timothy 3:16
In His Grace...
New life is such a marvelous thing. The way life is formed within us, and then the amazing way it develops as it grows from a newborn, to an infant, to a baby, to a toddler, to a little boy or girl. Holding this tiny baby today reminded me of all the times I have held my little boy and been awed by him, the gift of him.
It reminded me once again to be thankful for such blessings as these. It also reminded me of the importance of our roles in our children's lives. To pass along the legacy of Christ's love to our children "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up...Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:5-9
We have been given such an important job and He has given us the tools with which to do it if we would only lean on Him and look to Him in our daily lives.
My prayer today for myself and for you is that we will make the time to look for the answers to our parenting questions by reading scripture rather than looking to parenting books and magazines. For "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness..." 2 Timothy 3:16
In His Grace...
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Where would you be without the love of God?
I heard this question on KLOVE today. It really made me think. I would be in such a different place than I am.
Perhaps I would be on the path to divorce like the friends I mentioned yesterday.
Or maybe I would still be on anti-depressants to deal the the daily darkness that plagued me for a while.
Possibly I would be withdrawing more and more from daily life as I was before the depression diagnosis.
I could go on, but I would rather dwell on where I am because of God's love.
Living a life filled with God's grace.
Realizing and attempting to fulfill who I am in Christ.
Experiencing joy even in the midst of trials.
Loving my little one.
Loving my husband.
What about you?
In His Grace....
Perhaps I would be on the path to divorce like the friends I mentioned yesterday.
Or maybe I would still be on anti-depressants to deal the the daily darkness that plagued me for a while.
Possibly I would be withdrawing more and more from daily life as I was before the depression diagnosis.
I could go on, but I would rather dwell on where I am because of God's love.
Living a life filled with God's grace.
Realizing and attempting to fulfill who I am in Christ.
Experiencing joy even in the midst of trials.
Loving my little one.
Loving my husband.
What about you?
In His Grace....
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
True Love
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs....It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love seems to be so elusive for so many in today's society. Recently we found that some friends of ours, that have a 3 year old like we do, are getting a divorce. My heart breaks for them. While I do know that marriage is difficult, it seems that so many are willing to throw in the towel instead of fighting for their marriages. I have difficulty understanding this and have wondered why love seems to be so difficult to sustain in today's society.
A few nights ago, as I was reading one of the books in my favorite series of Christian fiction, The Mitford Series by Jan Karon, I had a thought (I do have thoughts rather frequently, but this one struck me so - I even jotted it down :-).
You cannot have true love unless you know God's love.
God's love is really the only true love that exists. We are human and flawed so no matter how hard we try, we cannot give and sustain true love with another flawed human. Somewhere in there, selfishness creeps in and we fail to give of ourselves the way God has given and continues to give of himself. The only thing that allows us to continue in a monogamous relationship with one other flawed human is if we are continuously attempting to be like Jesus Christ and generously giving out the grace that God so generously heaps on us.
Without being filled with God's love, we are trying in vain to fill our empty places with the love from another human being. But no matter how hard they try and we try, they cannot fill that space. Once you know God's love, then you are free to love as He loves - unconditionally.
I am not saying it is easy - just that it is necessary in order to truly experience what God wants for us in our relationships with our spouses. In order to be and do all that is listed in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, we must seek God first and fulfill ourselves with His love. Then the rest will follow...
In His Grace....
Love seems to be so elusive for so many in today's society. Recently we found that some friends of ours, that have a 3 year old like we do, are getting a divorce. My heart breaks for them. While I do know that marriage is difficult, it seems that so many are willing to throw in the towel instead of fighting for their marriages. I have difficulty understanding this and have wondered why love seems to be so difficult to sustain in today's society.
A few nights ago, as I was reading one of the books in my favorite series of Christian fiction, The Mitford Series by Jan Karon, I had a thought (I do have thoughts rather frequently, but this one struck me so - I even jotted it down :-).
You cannot have true love unless you know God's love.
God's love is really the only true love that exists. We are human and flawed so no matter how hard we try, we cannot give and sustain true love with another flawed human. Somewhere in there, selfishness creeps in and we fail to give of ourselves the way God has given and continues to give of himself. The only thing that allows us to continue in a monogamous relationship with one other flawed human is if we are continuously attempting to be like Jesus Christ and generously giving out the grace that God so generously heaps on us.
Without being filled with God's love, we are trying in vain to fill our empty places with the love from another human being. But no matter how hard they try and we try, they cannot fill that space. Once you know God's love, then you are free to love as He loves - unconditionally.
I am not saying it is easy - just that it is necessary in order to truly experience what God wants for us in our relationships with our spouses. In order to be and do all that is listed in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, we must seek God first and fulfill ourselves with His love. Then the rest will follow...
In His Grace....
Monday, June 11, 2012
Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
" I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made..." Psalm 139:14
This is the memory verse that my son learned a few months ago in Sunday school. We bring home the handouts each month and I try to do my best to keep God in our daily life. But one day, after reading this verse, it got me to thinking. Do I believe this? Do I live as though this is true? I am teaching my 3 year old son that he should believe it. But do I?
I have had many years of thinking quite the opposite. I am the woman who cries at the drop of a hat. It seems that more Sundays than not, I am the woman sitting there in church with tears spilling out onto her cheeks. And the one that forgot to bring the Kleenex. I cannot explain this phenomenon but to know that God is working in me. I often do not even know what He is working on and yet this is often my reaction to sermons at church. If God created me and “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” then there is a reason for my tender heart.
I was taught the exact opposite. It was seen as a weakness in my family. It was something to hide and to try to make go away. “You’re too sensitive” was the phrase I heard most often when I would start crying. To me that meant that it was a part of me that I needed to get rid of. But it is a part of me that even after many sessions with a therapist, does not go away.
There is a reason for my tender heart but I don't know what it is. I am still searching for God's purpose for me and pray that one day I will know His dreams for me. For now, I will try to live each day with the knowledge that I am indeed “fearfully and wonderfully made” and even in the midst of unexplainable and sometimes quite embarrassing tears, I will praise God for my tender heart.
In His Grace...
Saturday, June 9, 2012
What is my purpose?
Do you ever wonder what your purpose is? I listen to KLOVE a lot and I heard a little blurb from Francis Chan in which he says "God saved me for a purpose..."
I often wonder what my purpose is. Is it to be a mother? Or a wife? I can't imagine it is to do the books for a variety of wineries (although that is how I currently earn a part-time income). I realize that it may just be so that I can be an example of Christlike living with my secular employers, co-workers and friends.
I would like to think that God might have a greater purpose for my life and that I have, as of yet, not fulfilled it. With this in mind, I began reading the bible from the beginning, at the end of last year. I have read many parts of the bible in the past and participated in many bible studies but I have not ever read the bible in its' entirety. So I started, thinking that it would be difficult and cumbersome. Instead I have been enjoying it. It has given me a new perspective on the biblical knowledge I had so far, increasing my insight into even events in the New Testament. It has also opened my heart to God in ways that it was not open before.
If you have ever thought you might like to read the bible from cover to cover, I would highly recommend it.
I will not be posting this weekend as I will be busy with my family, celebrating my birthday :-)
In His Grace...
I often wonder what my purpose is. Is it to be a mother? Or a wife? I can't imagine it is to do the books for a variety of wineries (although that is how I currently earn a part-time income). I realize that it may just be so that I can be an example of Christlike living with my secular employers, co-workers and friends.
I would like to think that God might have a greater purpose for my life and that I have, as of yet, not fulfilled it. With this in mind, I began reading the bible from the beginning, at the end of last year. I have read many parts of the bible in the past and participated in many bible studies but I have not ever read the bible in its' entirety. So I started, thinking that it would be difficult and cumbersome. Instead I have been enjoying it. It has given me a new perspective on the biblical knowledge I had so far, increasing my insight into even events in the New Testament. It has also opened my heart to God in ways that it was not open before.
If you have ever thought you might like to read the bible from cover to cover, I would highly recommend it.
I will not be posting this weekend as I will be busy with my family, celebrating my birthday :-)
In His Grace...
Friday, June 8, 2012
Loving God (Part II)
Last night after I wrote today's post, it occurred to me that what I wrote really didn't have a lot to do with me loving God but rather Him loving me. (For some reason, many of the ideas I have for these posts occur just after I have gone to bed prior to falling asleep - not the most convenient time but I have taken to keeping a note pad by my bed so that I can jot down the ideas. Otherwise, I will wake in the morning knowing I had an idea but not being able to remember what it was!)
Prior to realizing that God loves me unconditionally, just as I love my son, I had not given a lot of thought to the action of loving God. I was doing the "right" things - reading the bible, attending church, serving at church, participating in bible studies, attempting to love my neighbor (even when it is very difficult). I knew in my head that God loves me but my heart did not fully comprehend. Again, I see it somewhat like my relationship with my son. I tell him I love him and he tells me he loves me but what does that mean to a 3 year old? I don't think he fully understands what it means to love me; that was where I was in my relationship with God. My head knowledge of God's love for me wasn't translating into me taking action to love God.
When I realized what kind of love God feels for me, it changed my perception of my relationship with God. I started seeing the world with new eyes. I started giving thanks for all the little blessings He provides each day and just lifting a prayer to God at any opportunity throughout the day. I started to think about how it affects me when my son does something wrong or is disobedient. This started translating into how God must feel when I do not follow His word or disobey Him. After I have done something that goes against His word, I now feel regret. Instead of repenting and asking His forgiveness because I know in my head I should, I do it because I feel in my heart that I have disappointed Him and I want to make that relationship right. This has opened my heart to His love even more which then allows me to love Him more. It it a continuous circle, which if I can continue to follow it, will lead me into a closer and closer relationship with Him which is what He is after as well.
I pray that this has or can happen for you as well...
In His Grace...
Prior to realizing that God loves me unconditionally, just as I love my son, I had not given a lot of thought to the action of loving God. I was doing the "right" things - reading the bible, attending church, serving at church, participating in bible studies, attempting to love my neighbor (even when it is very difficult). I knew in my head that God loves me but my heart did not fully comprehend. Again, I see it somewhat like my relationship with my son. I tell him I love him and he tells me he loves me but what does that mean to a 3 year old? I don't think he fully understands what it means to love me; that was where I was in my relationship with God. My head knowledge of God's love for me wasn't translating into me taking action to love God.
When I realized what kind of love God feels for me, it changed my perception of my relationship with God. I started seeing the world with new eyes. I started giving thanks for all the little blessings He provides each day and just lifting a prayer to God at any opportunity throughout the day. I started to think about how it affects me when my son does something wrong or is disobedient. This started translating into how God must feel when I do not follow His word or disobey Him. After I have done something that goes against His word, I now feel regret. Instead of repenting and asking His forgiveness because I know in my head I should, I do it because I feel in my heart that I have disappointed Him and I want to make that relationship right. This has opened my heart to His love even more which then allows me to love Him more. It it a continuous circle, which if I can continue to follow it, will lead me into a closer and closer relationship with Him which is what He is after as well.
I pray that this has or can happen for you as well...
In His Grace...
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Loving God
It was almost 4 years ago that we had our son. I had come to the Lord 4 years before but I was still struggling with the idea of His love for us. I am a thinker and I would wrestle with questions like if He loves us then why does --------- (insert something bad) happen? How can we know His love when we can't see Him? Why would He love me?
And then we had our son. And still it took me several years to really get it. It was while I was reading a book by Francis Chan called Crazy Love that it clicked. God loves me the way I love my son but even more so. I cannot fathom the more so. But I totally get the parental love.
I look at my son and I thank God for him. I look at my son and I am overwhelmed by my love for him. Even when he is not obedient. Or when he is pushing and testing every limit we have. I LOVE him! It is unlike anything I had experienced before. I love my husband but it is different with my son. I love my parents and my sister but it is different than my love for my son. It is indescribable, it is unfathomable, it is a truly amazing and wondrous thing!
That is how God loves me....and you. He loves us beyond our understanding of love. He looks upon us with an indescribable, unfathomable love...even when we are disobedient or testing His limits. He LOVES us! So much that "...he gave his one and only son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
I am so thankful to have experienced this love and so thankful that God feels that way about me. I don't understand it but I will continue to thank Him for his everlasting love.
In His Grace....
And then we had our son. And still it took me several years to really get it. It was while I was reading a book by Francis Chan called Crazy Love that it clicked. God loves me the way I love my son but even more so. I cannot fathom the more so. But I totally get the parental love.
I look at my son and I thank God for him. I look at my son and I am overwhelmed by my love for him. Even when he is not obedient. Or when he is pushing and testing every limit we have. I LOVE him! It is unlike anything I had experienced before. I love my husband but it is different with my son. I love my parents and my sister but it is different than my love for my son. It is indescribable, it is unfathomable, it is a truly amazing and wondrous thing!
That is how God loves me....and you. He loves us beyond our understanding of love. He looks upon us with an indescribable, unfathomable love...even when we are disobedient or testing His limits. He LOVES us! So much that "...he gave his one and only son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
I am so thankful to have experienced this love and so thankful that God feels that way about me. I don't understand it but I will continue to thank Him for his everlasting love.
In His Grace....
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
I have been transformed
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2
I'm sure you, like me, have heard this verse many times but I always thought of it in relation to others more than myself. Maybe you also have known people that have been transformed by the love of Jesus Christ. The evidence is very real and very tangible. Maybe you know someone that was an alcoholic and just quit drinking when they gave their lives to Christ. Or maybe you know someone that became a different person overnight. The change is so evident that you can't miss it.
My transformation has been much more gradual and so I tend to discount it. As I mentioned in the Testimony post, I don't think my testimony is very powerful. But as I was going to bed last night, these words flowed through my mind "I have been transformed by the renewing of my mind. I'm not the person I once was but have been made new by God through Jesus Christ."
I believe this. I know I am a kinder, gentler, less anxious, more compassionate, more loving person than I once was. I know that Christ has been working in me for the last eight years and if I would let Him, the evidence would be even more striking. I still allow fear of what others might think of me to stop me from sharing what God has done in my life.
I pray that as I share here, God will be able to continue my transformation into a Godly woman who is eager to share what she knows of God's love and the powerful ways that it has changed my life.
In His Grace...
I'm sure you, like me, have heard this verse many times but I always thought of it in relation to others more than myself. Maybe you also have known people that have been transformed by the love of Jesus Christ. The evidence is very real and very tangible. Maybe you know someone that was an alcoholic and just quit drinking when they gave their lives to Christ. Or maybe you know someone that became a different person overnight. The change is so evident that you can't miss it.
My transformation has been much more gradual and so I tend to discount it. As I mentioned in the Testimony post, I don't think my testimony is very powerful. But as I was going to bed last night, these words flowed through my mind "I have been transformed by the renewing of my mind. I'm not the person I once was but have been made new by God through Jesus Christ."
I believe this. I know I am a kinder, gentler, less anxious, more compassionate, more loving person than I once was. I know that Christ has been working in me for the last eight years and if I would let Him, the evidence would be even more striking. I still allow fear of what others might think of me to stop me from sharing what God has done in my life.
I pray that as I share here, God will be able to continue my transformation into a Godly woman who is eager to share what she knows of God's love and the powerful ways that it has changed my life.
In His Grace...
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Overcome (Part II)
"I have overcome the world..." John 16:33
"...and the gates of Hades will not overcome it..." Matthew 16:18
"...but the Lamb will overcome them..." Revelation 17:14
"He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son (daughter)" Revelation 21:7
How amazing that when we got to church on Sunday, one of the things that kept coming up again and again during our Pastor's sermon was to overcome. As I mentioned in the previous Overcome post, this topic keeps coming up in my life. And I have prayed about what it is that God is wanting me to learn. The only thing I keep coming back to is that He wants me to understand that we can and will overcome.
Whatever it is that you are struggling with right now - whatever sadness, whatever illness, whatever difficulty, whatever trial, whatever sin - you can and will overcome through "Christ in you" Colossians 1:27. He lives in you when you ask him into your heart. And even though it may not feel like it right now, as you keep looking to Him through the tough times, He will lead you to overcome any difficulty you might face here on earth. He is preparing a home for you in heaven and you are His beloved child.
I pray you know this truth...
In His Grace...
"...and the gates of Hades will not overcome it..." Matthew 16:18
"...but the Lamb will overcome them..." Revelation 17:14
"He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son (daughter)" Revelation 21:7
How amazing that when we got to church on Sunday, one of the things that kept coming up again and again during our Pastor's sermon was to overcome. As I mentioned in the previous Overcome post, this topic keeps coming up in my life. And I have prayed about what it is that God is wanting me to learn. The only thing I keep coming back to is that He wants me to understand that we can and will overcome.
Whatever it is that you are struggling with right now - whatever sadness, whatever illness, whatever difficulty, whatever trial, whatever sin - you can and will overcome through "Christ in you" Colossians 1:27. He lives in you when you ask him into your heart. And even though it may not feel like it right now, as you keep looking to Him through the tough times, He will lead you to overcome any difficulty you might face here on earth. He is preparing a home for you in heaven and you are His beloved child.
I pray you know this truth...
In His Grace...
Monday, June 4, 2012
Testimony
I was recently asked by my church to share my testimony in church. I had been participating in a bible study and had the breakthrough moment I shared last week. As fate would have it, I shared that with the children's director in our church, who was also the leader of the bible study. I have not been in the habit of sharing things like this but felt led to share with her. Several weeks went by before I heard back from her. She asked me to pray about sharing my testimony. I told her I would pray about it.
And boy did I pray about it. I am not a speaking in front of others kind of person. I get horrible stage fright so that my mouth doesn't produce saliva and I can't talk. I get nervous for days before hand and just thinking about getting up in front of our church and giving my testimony makes my stomach flip. So every moment I thought of it, I prayed for God to direct me in His will.
One night as I turned out the light to go to sleep, I said yet another prayer asking for God's direction. The thought that came unbidden in my mind was "I want you to give me glory". Now I know this is not something that my mind dreamed up on my own as it means I now will need to stand up in front of my church and give my testimony. I had not, until that point, ever truly felt I had heard the voice of God. But that night I did. Even though it was in my thoughts, I know it was not of me.
Now it just needs to be scheduled. And when I am sitting in the church service on Sundays, and I think about the fact that I will at some point be getting up there in order to share my testimony, my stomach lurches. But I will be obedient...
In His Grace...
And boy did I pray about it. I am not a speaking in front of others kind of person. I get horrible stage fright so that my mouth doesn't produce saliva and I can't talk. I get nervous for days before hand and just thinking about getting up in front of our church and giving my testimony makes my stomach flip. So every moment I thought of it, I prayed for God to direct me in His will.
One night as I turned out the light to go to sleep, I said yet another prayer asking for God's direction. The thought that came unbidden in my mind was "I want you to give me glory". Now I know this is not something that my mind dreamed up on my own as it means I now will need to stand up in front of my church and give my testimony. I had not, until that point, ever truly felt I had heard the voice of God. But that night I did. Even though it was in my thoughts, I know it was not of me.
Now it just needs to be scheduled. And when I am sitting in the church service on Sundays, and I think about the fact that I will at some point be getting up there in order to share my testimony, my stomach lurches. But I will be obedient...
In His Grace...
Sunday, June 3, 2012
My precious Lord and Savior
My Precious Lord and Savior
You are the one I love
You give me strength to climb the mountains
And ford the valleys low.
My Precious Lord and Savior
You are the one I love
You raise me up when I fall
You heal my every wound
You fill me with your peace and love
As only You can do.
My Precious Lord and Savior
You are the one I love
Your blessings fill my every day
Your blessings fill my every day
Your brightness lights my life
I lean on You, your mercy and grace
Your forgiveness and your love.
My Precious Lord and Savior
You are the one I love.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Breakthrough
Eight months after the diagnosis of depression, I started a relationship with Jesus Christ on Easter Sunday of 2004. There was an alter call and I went forward. It had been a long journey to get to that place and there were some amazing people involved in getting me there on that day. But I continued to struggle with depression.
We were going to church regularly and I would reach out to people, mostly women, looking for the answers. I was searching for something, for someone to be my friend, to pay attention to me, to really love me, in spite of my faults, in spite of my problems. These women would pray for me and suggest verses from the Bible that spoke to them or that helped them through something similar. But when they gave suggestions my mind would be spinning and I would be thinking to myself, “but it’s not that easy”.
Deep down I felt that if the prayers of the amazing women I met were the answer, then what would make these women want to be with me? Why would they stick around if I didn’t have problems for them to fix? What would keep them interested in being there for me? Why would they want to be my friend? I craved their attention and their approval. I craved them to notice me and wanted so much to be loved. My way of keeping their attention was by needing to be fixed, but in the end that did not keep their attention either. Over time, they would get tired of me still being stuck in the same place. They would stop having suggestions and many of them did not have the time to try to help me when I wasn’t really helping myself.
The truth was I didn’t want to be healed. I wanted someone to love me so much that I would feel fulfilled. I wanted someone to pay attention to me 24/7, be there for me no matter what. I wanted someone that would continue knocking on my door day after day, year after year. I was trying to get it from a person but there is no human being in this world that would satisfy my hunger for love. There is no person that can fill that need to be noticed, to be unconditionally loved. That empty place that longs so much for love - wonderful, unconditional, merciful love can only be filled by God. We search for it through our relationships with other people but until I stopped searching for it from other people, God could not fill that void because I wouldn’t let Him. I needed to open my heart to His love – His wonderful, merciful, graceful, giving love.
And I am certainly not saying it is easy. It has taken me at least ten years to get to this point - this light bulb moment. To get to the point where I can see what I was searching for all those years. To get to the point where if I am struggling with something and someone prays for me, I can feel His peace come over me and know that what they speak is the truth of God’s Word. It has taken me years and I still struggle. But I can say now that I know. I know in my head and my heart that the only, the ONLY way to fill that void is through my relationship with Jesus Christ. He alone can stop my searching for approval from people. His love can prevent me from doing whatever it takes to win attention from others.
As I write this, it is still hard for me to live it. It is still a challenge not to care what others think or to put more importance on what others think than what I think. I have been struggling with that for many, many years. But the light bulb burned brightly at this recognition and I know that GOD LOVES ME with His truly amazing, forgiving, all encompassing love.
In His Grace...
Friday, June 1, 2012
Overcome
I am not sure why but lately I just keep hearing/seeing the word overcome. In songs on the Christian radio station I listen to, in the Bible as I read through God's word. It seems to be a very important concept but one which I did not think much of previously.
I have struggled with many things since becoming a Christian - depression, fear, anxiety. And with God's help, I have overcome. I think this is why the term has come to mean something to me. Following Christ has enabled me to overcome things that for a time were disabling. I had allowed depression to overcome me, to keep me from reaching out to others, to stop me from leading a full life in Christ.
I had allowed fear to freeze me in my tracks and prevent me from fulfilling God's dream for my life.
I had allowed anxiety to prevent me from following God's leading in my life.
But I know that "God did not give us the spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline" 2 Tim 1:7. And so each time I encounter these things that threaten my relationship with Jesus, I try to remember to look to the Lord and have verses memorized that relate to each. Obviously, I look to the verse in Timothy to assist when I am fearful.
I look to a verse in Phillippians to assist when I am anxious "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" Phil 4:6-7. This has been a favorite of mine for quite a few years. I think it was the second verse I ever memorized after giving my life to the Lord.
And the Psalms that David wrote are particularly helpful whenever I feel that I am falling into the hole of depression "I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame" Psalm 34:4-5. There are numerous Psalms that encourage me and lead me toward Jesus instead of into the darkness and self-centeredness that is depression.
I pray that one of these verses might be a help to someone reading this.
In His Grace...
I have struggled with many things since becoming a Christian - depression, fear, anxiety. And with God's help, I have overcome. I think this is why the term has come to mean something to me. Following Christ has enabled me to overcome things that for a time were disabling. I had allowed depression to overcome me, to keep me from reaching out to others, to stop me from leading a full life in Christ.
I had allowed fear to freeze me in my tracks and prevent me from fulfilling God's dream for my life.
I had allowed anxiety to prevent me from following God's leading in my life.
But I know that "God did not give us the spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline" 2 Tim 1:7. And so each time I encounter these things that threaten my relationship with Jesus, I try to remember to look to the Lord and have verses memorized that relate to each. Obviously, I look to the verse in Timothy to assist when I am fearful.
I look to a verse in Phillippians to assist when I am anxious "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" Phil 4:6-7. This has been a favorite of mine for quite a few years. I think it was the second verse I ever memorized after giving my life to the Lord.
And the Psalms that David wrote are particularly helpful whenever I feel that I am falling into the hole of depression "I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame" Psalm 34:4-5. There are numerous Psalms that encourage me and lead me toward Jesus instead of into the darkness and self-centeredness that is depression.
I pray that one of these verses might be a help to someone reading this.
In His Grace...
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