Relationships...

...are hard.  It seems it is harder because, it takes two to tango, as they say.  Which means that there is another person in the mix and we can't control their actions or reactions. 

I was talking to a friend yesterday and she said that she has recently realized that she is only responsible for her actions and reactions.  This rang so true to me.  I cannot control my husbands actions and reactions but I can control mine.  In our day to day life, if we have a conflict, sometimes I try to control his actions and reactions.  But this is impossible.  I can, however, be responsible for and control mine. 

Scripture says "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1  How true this is.  Often I think that my husband should be the one with the gentle answer.  He should be the one working on changing himself. 

But in reality, God is showing me it is the other way around.  As I observe couples that have been married for many years, I realize that they have conquered this art.  This art of biting your tongue, this art of rephrasing a criticism.  They have discovered how to give a gentle answer even when they would like to give a harsh word. 

All because they have God in the center.  They are focused on God in their marriages which means that they are working daily to show God's love to the other person.  And not just in their marriages but also in their families, in their friendships and long-term relationships. 

Lord, I need your help in this area.  I have spent my lifetime failing at it.  With your love, I pray I will succeed.

In His Grace...