Submit

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy...husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself.   After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church..."  Ephesians 5:21-29

Marriage can be difficult.  It takes work - sometimes a lot of hard work.  At times it can be wonderful, at other times it can be hard.  The things we say, the things we do.  Sometimes we take action when we shouldn't, other times we should take action when we don't.  It is a challenging but rewarding lifetime job. 

Toward the beginning of August, my husband and I joined a small group.  The very first study our group opted to do is called Fireproof Your Marriage and it is based on the movie Fireproof that was released several years ago.  One of the first verses we were to read and discuss in this group was Ephesians 5:21-33. 

At one time, this verse would have made all the hair on the back of my neck stand up.  I didn't understand why God would say that wives should submit to their husbands.  Are the men better than the wives?  Do they have a more important place in God's view?  Why should I submit to my husband when society had been training me that I was equal?

But I was taking it out of context.  When you read this entire section of scripture, God does instruct women to submit to their husbands.  But hand in hand with that, he instructs husbands to love their wives.  He uses the analogy of all that Christ did for the church, that he loved the Church so much that he "gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless" Ephesians 5:25-27.

So what does it mean to submit and to love? 

According to my NIV Life Application Study Bible, to submit means that "the man is the spiritual head of the family, and his wife should acknowledge his leadership."  It goes on to say though that "real spiritual leadership involves service.  Just as Christ served the disciples, even to the point of washing their feet, so the husband is to serve his wife." 

And the description of love is also important "He should be willing to sacrifice everything for her, He should make her well-being of primary importance and he should care for her as he cares for his own body." 

When my husband is doing these things, then why on earth would I not submit to him? 

My Bible goes on to say "A wise and Christ-honoring husband will not take advantage of his leadership role, and a wise and Christ-honoring wife will not try to undermine her husband's leadership."

God intended for the two things, submitting and loving, to go hand-in-hand.  If you take the submit out, it doesn't work.  If you take the love out, it doesn't work.  But when two people love each other enough to submit (even when you think you are right and he is wrong) and to love (even when she is being grumpy and difficult) then you have what God envisioned in the marriage relationship.  Two people being selfless - doing the opposite of what our flesh tells us to do and giving of ourselves to make it work.

I can do this...

Only In His Grace...